Abercrombie & Fitch - Bah Humbug!

The first U.K. branch of Abercrombie & Fitch opened in London this month to an orgy of double-decker buses plastered with the rather attractive bum of a nubile young man, barely covered by his jeans. With that kind of enticement, Simon and I went for a walk this bank holiday around town and decided to pop in for a look on the Saturday.

I just visited the A&F on Madison Avenue in New York City last summer, and it felt like Mike Jeffries' (the owner) gay wet dream. He hires nubile young men of the above poster ilk, going under the designation of "greeter" to stand by the entrance and entice people into the store. Actually, the Madison Avenue store had about a half a dozen greeters. London, by comparison, was somewhat tamer. There was just one guy who had the requisite physique, but he also had a rather nasty ponytail which killed the magic: it made him seem vain rather than wholesome.

The shop was nearly completely overrun. The building itself used to house a bank, so it is by no means a small venue, but there were queues to go up the stairs, queues to go down the stairs, queues to try on the clothes, and a tremendous queue to pay for the darn clothes. I blame Ralph Lauren for the sale of a "lifestyle". Yes, we would all like to live in a world of beautiful young things with very little clothing on, but frankly, this is London, not Honolulu, and spending £30 deluding myself that this T-shirt is now going to make me gorgeous, and which blatantly advertises the company, is somewhat galling. The shop was so dark inside, and the music so loud, Simon and I decided we couldn't take it any longer, and after a valiant three minutes decided to escape while we still could.

Bah humbug! All I will say it don't fall for the hype. Just look at Mr. Jeffries, who at 60 odd, has bought into his own dream so much that now he looks decidedly strange.