Of Latter Days

I've been on a bit of a retro roll this fortnight, what with watching Queer As Folk all over again, so it isn't too much of a surprise that I am revisiting the past, this time catching a film I saw back in 2004 called Latter Days. It was the height of summer, and the time of the London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival; Simon and I were seeing each other without actually dating yet, and we went with a bunch of Pink Singers of yore (I seem to recall Stefan and John H being there) to watch what was, if memory serves me correctly, the opening film of the festival.

Now, normally I don't expect much of independent films, much less gay independent films. There is typically very little semblance of a plot, the pacing is sketchy and the acting (if one can call it that) is only slightly better than in porn, with the added disadvantage that the actors are even less enthusiastic about the "rewards" of a well-performed scene. So it was with some surprise that I emerged from the National Film Theatre with damp eyes.

I'm not going to bother with a synopsis of the film, since there are ample reviews of it out there on the web, but suffice to say it is about a young Mormon who loves to L.A. and falls for a fluffy gym bunny, and how both their lives are changed. Given the religious overtones of the film, it is unsurprising that the ending is about salvation of both the protagonists, both literally and figureatively.

Quite apart from the electric chemistry between the two young men, and a remarkable performance by the gorgeous Steven Sandvoss who plays the role of Aaron the Mormon with just the right combination of bashful naiveté and barely bridled sexiness, the film touched many cords in me at the time, dealing as it does with issues of coming out, family and friendships and purpose in life. In one sequence Aaron asks Christian, who is sitting on a sheepskin bed throw dressed in a jockstrap (the manoeuvring Christian does to achieve this situation is quite far fetched!), what he truly believes in, and whether he can build his life around it. The implication is that at least Aaron believes in something worthwhile, while Christian (oh ironic naming conventions!) is skin deep and shallow.

I remember that at the time I was reading a book called Life On The Outside by Michaelangelo Signorile which detailed his disaffection with the emptiness of the gay party circuit. It was primarily a description of the scene in the States in the late 90s and the empty body fascistic quality of being out and proud then. Having worked for a while in Florida it jibed exactly with my experience, and while it was great that there were people willing and able to be out and proud, the uniform of tight white tee, dark denim and Timberland boots, and the lack of individualism it embodied certainly did not appeal to me in the least. I mean, I fought to come out of the closet for this? A wolrd in which I felt even more of an outsider?

Thankfully, the U.K. scene is signficantly more diverse than the American one, and friendlier and more approachable for it. You may certainly fit into a stereotype if you so choose, but you don't have to, and there is certainly no pressure to conform. The point of this preamble is that Latter Days resonated with me at the time because it challenged the notion that one had to adopt muscles, hedonism and promiscuity as a mantra to truly be "gay". Heaven knows you get enough stereotyping from the straight world without the gay world also wanting to apply a label to you.

Latter Days also explores a subject dear to me: the juxtaposition of a religious belief system with being gay, two spheres of influence in my own life which are not mutally exclusive, but which are far from comfortable bedfellows. I am certainly not Mormon, but can see how it can be difficult to reconcile the ideological purity/straitjacket of a spiritual belief with the occasionally gritty and tawdry but always stimulating reality of a human, gay existence.

That said, it has now been five years since I saw the film, and I am a slightly less idealistic person for it. For one, that all-defining "belief" as a guiding principle for building your existence is a bit of a sham. What you believe in is not fixed: it changes with time and place and there is no constancy to it. In the context of the film, Aaron's original beliefs in his religion and his family, ultimately gives way to one in his newfound friends. This is not to deny that the principles set out early on have threads which run through the rest of your life, but it is possible to change the founding core without disrupting who you are too much.

Latter Days is, as you might imagine, one of my defining gay films and one I strongly recommend. Sure some of the lines are cheesy, some of the emotion is overwrought and some of the plot requires a suspension of disbelief, but with great eye-candy, superb music and sympathetic characters it makes for a very pleasant and thought provoking hour or so. Track down a copy if you can!